Friday, May 18, 2007
Have you ever wondered how you can make your ugly baby cute? Have you ever wondered what will make your stinky baby smell like a cornucopia of potpourri? Is the fact that all the other babies in your baby's nursery hate him or her keeping you awake at night?
Well friends, look no further than our Smashing Summer '07 WormCo Fashion for Babies line of clothing. These threads are spun by our armada of silkworms from our booming China division. Once we collect the raw materials, we whisk them off to our non-sweatshop factory to be manufactured into the lovely garments you see pictured above. In fact, young Nathan here has already potty trained himself and begun work on a thesis of the economical impact of social reform in pan-Adriatic cultures since he became a customer. And what has your baby produced today? Drool.
You can be assured that no one under the age of 7 works in our Chinese baby clothing plant, and we have the number of weekly hours capped at 97.5! Compare that with Babies "R" Us, who actually derived their name from a toddler-run factory in Malaysia, where they have children as young as 4 months toiling away to provide you with non-WormCo quality merchandise at grossly inflated prices.
But wait.... there's more! Our WormCo line of baby clothing is disrespectful to dirt! Sure, WormCo deals in buying and selling of dirt every day.... but goodness knows you don't want it on your baby.
Ugly, stinky, rogue babies rejoice! Your time has come and your company.... is WormCo.
Up from the Underground!!!
Posted by BigWorm at 7:36 AM